Does love do funny things to you? Does it make you do things you would not ordinarily do? That's not all bad. It just means "You've got it bad!" ("bad" being used in a good sense.)
However, we should exercise common sense in anything we do. I suppose we all have heard of someone who was brilliant at his or her job, or was a genius in some other area of life, but just did not have much common sense.
Well, even though love makes us do strange things, and that is not necessarily bad, we need to guard on losing our common sense. If a person is going to make a public marriage proposal, he certainly should exercise that common sense. To find out more, READ THIS.
Also, Don't forget to check out the marriage secrets presented here.
Finally, for more information on Secrets to Marital Bliss, go here.
Articles on Marriage
Would you like to have an even more blissful relationship than you do now? If your marriage has deteriorated over the years, would you like to have some keys to help you to restore your relationship? The goal would not be to just get back to a tolerable situation, but to get to a great relationship! You can also make a good marriage great, and a great marriage even better!
Two resources can help:
The Loving Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss is one, and Secrets of Marital Bliss is another.
Don't just have a tolerable marriage, have a great marriage!
Two resources can help:
The Loving Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss is one, and Secrets of Marital Bliss is another.
Don't just have a tolerable marriage, have a great marriage!
Dr. Carney has been designated as an:
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Growing Toward Spiritual Intimacy by Dr. Randy Carney
Growing Toward Spiritual Intimacy
By Dr. Randy Carney
Growing toward spiritual intimacy happens when a couple practices a disciplined commitment. As in any endeavor, achieving goals brings great satisfaction. When the couple has a goal of achieving spiritual intimacy, they will experience satisfaction as they see progress in that area of their marriage.
When considering spiritual intimacy, we first of all examine the meaning of true spirituality. Many in Christian circles speak of something being very spiritual when it touches the emotions. While it is true that when the Holy Spirit deals with an individual, there is often a certain amount of excitement or perhaps conviction; true spirituality refers to something that goes beyond an emotional experience.
True spirituality has its basis in understanding of the law as it relates to individual rules, but the spiritual aspect is revealed when we look at something less tangible than the rules as expressed in the law. For instance, The Ten Commandments express a set of things not to do and things to do, but the very last commandment internalizes the matter when it says not to covet. The other commandments can be related to this very internal expression.
True spirituality has a positive, as well as negative, aspect. The New Testament puts forth the principles that people should love God with all of their heart, mind, soul and strength. Another positive principle is for a person to love his neighbor as himself.
True spirituality finds itself in faith. This is a faith that goes beyond feeling, and it is a faith that leads to discipline and commitment. When a couple exercises disciplined commitment, each person will find himself or herself growing toward spiritual intimacy. Spiritual intimacy, therefore includes feeling, but it goes beyond feeling as it is produced by faith.
We all need to learn all we can about achieving spiritual intimacy.
Personal Commitment and Spiritual Maturity
Spiritual intimacy begins with personal commitment. A person, first of all, places his trust in the Lord in the matter of salvation. This is an act of the will and is a matter of personal decision. After that initial step, spiritual growth takes places. When each spouse in a marriage is committed to spiritual growth, they each experience greater measures of spiritual intimacy. As they share those experiences with each other, they begin to grow closer together. Their marriage commitment contributes to their growing spiritual intimacy, and their marital intimacy increases. Along with this, their spiritual intimacy grows also.
We all need to learn all we can about how to increase our personal commitment.
Personal Disciplines and Spiritual Maturity
Couples who desire to be growing toward spiritual maturity will develop habits that contribute to their spiritual growth. The privileges to read the Word of God and to Pray can be benefited by the couple who not only recognizes those privileges on a random basis, but by making those actions personal disciplines in their lives.
Discipline is related to commitment in that the discipline is carried out regardless of the feelings of the individual. As a husband or wife begins to exercise spiritual discipline, he or she begins to grow spiritually.
We all need to learn all we can about exercising spiritual disciplines within our lives
When Each Partner in a Marriage Draws Closer to God, They Draw Closer to Each Other
Growing toward spiritual intimacy takes place in a marriage when each partner exercises spiritual discipline, not out of obligation alone, but because of a desire to draw closer to God. You can picture a triangle with the husband at one point at the base of the triangle and the wife at the other point at the base. God, then is pictured at the point at the top of the triangle. You can see, from this illustration, that if both of them grow closer to God, they both grow closer to each other.
We all need to learn all we can about growing closer to God and to each other.
Relationship intimacy increases because of marriage commitment, and the couple achieves success as they grow toward spiritual maturity.
(Copyright 2008 by Randy Carney. Excerpted from a chapter in Dr. Carney's upcoming book: The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss).
Dr. Randy Carney has worked with married couples for many years. Did you find these steps to Spiritual Intimacy helpful. To see more articles like these, go to http://www.randysarticles.blogspot.com/ You can also find more information on this topic at The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Randy_Carney http://EzineArticles.com/?Growing-Toward-Spiritual-Intimacy&id=1237223
By Dr. Randy Carney
Growing toward spiritual intimacy happens when a couple practices a disciplined commitment. As in any endeavor, achieving goals brings great satisfaction. When the couple has a goal of achieving spiritual intimacy, they will experience satisfaction as they see progress in that area of their marriage.
When considering spiritual intimacy, we first of all examine the meaning of true spirituality. Many in Christian circles speak of something being very spiritual when it touches the emotions. While it is true that when the Holy Spirit deals with an individual, there is often a certain amount of excitement or perhaps conviction; true spirituality refers to something that goes beyond an emotional experience.
True spirituality has its basis in understanding of the law as it relates to individual rules, but the spiritual aspect is revealed when we look at something less tangible than the rules as expressed in the law. For instance, The Ten Commandments express a set of things not to do and things to do, but the very last commandment internalizes the matter when it says not to covet. The other commandments can be related to this very internal expression.
True spirituality has a positive, as well as negative, aspect. The New Testament puts forth the principles that people should love God with all of their heart, mind, soul and strength. Another positive principle is for a person to love his neighbor as himself.
True spirituality finds itself in faith. This is a faith that goes beyond feeling, and it is a faith that leads to discipline and commitment. When a couple exercises disciplined commitment, each person will find himself or herself growing toward spiritual intimacy. Spiritual intimacy, therefore includes feeling, but it goes beyond feeling as it is produced by faith.
We all need to learn all we can about achieving spiritual intimacy.
Personal Commitment and Spiritual Maturity
Spiritual intimacy begins with personal commitment. A person, first of all, places his trust in the Lord in the matter of salvation. This is an act of the will and is a matter of personal decision. After that initial step, spiritual growth takes places. When each spouse in a marriage is committed to spiritual growth, they each experience greater measures of spiritual intimacy. As they share those experiences with each other, they begin to grow closer together. Their marriage commitment contributes to their growing spiritual intimacy, and their marital intimacy increases. Along with this, their spiritual intimacy grows also.
We all need to learn all we can about how to increase our personal commitment.
Personal Disciplines and Spiritual Maturity
Couples who desire to be growing toward spiritual maturity will develop habits that contribute to their spiritual growth. The privileges to read the Word of God and to Pray can be benefited by the couple who not only recognizes those privileges on a random basis, but by making those actions personal disciplines in their lives.
Discipline is related to commitment in that the discipline is carried out regardless of the feelings of the individual. As a husband or wife begins to exercise spiritual discipline, he or she begins to grow spiritually.
We all need to learn all we can about exercising spiritual disciplines within our lives
When Each Partner in a Marriage Draws Closer to God, They Draw Closer to Each Other
Growing toward spiritual intimacy takes place in a marriage when each partner exercises spiritual discipline, not out of obligation alone, but because of a desire to draw closer to God. You can picture a triangle with the husband at one point at the base of the triangle and the wife at the other point at the base. God, then is pictured at the point at the top of the triangle. You can see, from this illustration, that if both of them grow closer to God, they both grow closer to each other.
We all need to learn all we can about growing closer to God and to each other.
Relationship intimacy increases because of marriage commitment, and the couple achieves success as they grow toward spiritual maturity.
(Copyright 2008 by Randy Carney. Excerpted from a chapter in Dr. Carney's upcoming book: The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss).
Dr. Randy Carney has worked with married couples for many years. Did you find these steps to Spiritual Intimacy helpful. To see more articles like these, go to http://www.randysarticles.blogspot.com/ You can also find more information on this topic at The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Randy_Carney http://EzineArticles.com/?Growing-Toward-Spiritual-Intimacy&id=1237223
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Achieving Spiritual Intimacy by Dr. Randy Carney
Achieving spiritual intimacy is part of the process that comes about when a couple decides to build their marriage upon three priniciples given to us by Jesus: "Leaving," "Cleaving." and "Becoming One Flesh." Leaving is important in any marriage. A couple should leave past relationships and focus on their new life together. Cleaving is also important. A couple should stick like glue to each other without smothering each other. A third aspect of a deepening marriage relationship is "becoming one flesh" as Jesus described the process. This becoming one flesh does describe physical intimacy in marriage, but the "becoming one" part of the statement suggests something further. When each member of the marriage relationship comes closer to God in his or her spiritual relationship, they also come closer to each other. The simple fact is that marital intimacy involves spiritual intimacy. Achieving spiritual intimacy is a wonderful benefit that comes to a couple involved in marriage as God intended.
Spiritual intimacy relates to the deep longing for God that each individual experiences. That person may not know what he is searching for, but he will often experiment with many things trying to fill "something" within his life. We all have a "God-shaped vacuum" within us. We try to fill that void with many things, but only God can satisfy that longing.
The Bible looks beyond the "self-assured" appearance of many people, and it challenges us with the statement that "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." Because of this situation, we have become separated from God because of the very nature of His holiness. This awareness affects our emotional intimacy as disappointment within ourselves begins to bring discouragement in our lives.
That is the wonderful thing about the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. The word, Gospel, simply means "good news"! The good news is that even though we have all sinned, God loved the world so much that He provided a way for us to regain fellowship with Him. When we respond to what He has provided for us, we begin to move toward that spiritual intimacy we so desperately desire.
We often wonder if God desires a relationship with human beings. We desire intimacy with God. does He desire intimacy with us? I mean, "Why would he want a relationship with creatures that so often are selfish and are so often rebellious against His authority?" We get some insight into this when we realize that we were created in the image of God. Then we (the human race) fell into sin. (Yes, our ancestors sinned, but if we are honest with ourselves, we recognize the fact that we also have sinned.)
How did we get into such a situation? Part of the answer is that when God created us in His image, He also created us in such a way that we could freely choose to love Him or reject Him. When we exercise that freedom to rebel against His right to rule our lives, we experience a separation from Him. Yet, He loved us enough to provide for our redemption. Accepting the Redeeming work of Christ by each partner in a marriage relationship is the first step toward the wonderful benefit of spiritual intimacy that can be found within a Christian marriage.
What hinders spiritual intimacy? Part of it has to do with our goals, values, and commitment. If our goals are selfish or outside of what God allows, of course our spiritual intimacy will be affected. If either the husband or wife becomes a workaholic, then the time that could be spent on achieving spiritual intimacy is moved to the side also.
Likewise, values that do not line up with the Word of God, will certainly get in the way of spiritual intimacy. When the couple gets its values from a society that does take the time to learn what God has to say about life, the cuople's own values will become corrupt. The way to move beyond this problem is to begin to study what the Bible has to say about life and let those biblical values sink in.
Our lack of commitment to the things of God will also hinder our spiritual intimacy. Trying to build a satisfying marriage without taking our spiritual needs into account will have little fruit; and that process certainly will not promote spiritual intimacy.
The Bible speaks of a husband "knowing" his wife. This has often been interpreted to mean that a married couple will be involved in sexual intercourse. This phrase does indeed refer to sexual intimacy within marriage, but it goes deeper than that.
When a husband "knows" his wife (and the same principles apply to a wife "knowing" her husband), he knows things about her. Especially before they marry, a man and woman learn all kinds of things abut each other because they are extremely interested in each other. Actually, though, in this phase, they know things about each other that others can observe also. The intimate "knowing" the Bible describes involves knowing things about your mate that no one else knows. You know their preferences, their pet peeves, and things like that. Others may be aware of some of those things, but you know them well. Beyond that, however, you also know some of your mate's secret dreams, desires and fears. When you are able to share on this honest level, and at the same time have a shared to commitment to please God, you begin to experience what the Bible is taking about when it speaks of "knowing" each other.
To share dreams and fears requires rigorous-honesty intimacy. To be able to share this deeply only comes after a period of time when trust has grown in the marriage.
Spiritual intimacy is a somewhat intangible quality; however, we can know that we desire something when we do not have it, and we can know that we like it when we do experience some measure of it. We recognize God's call for intimacy within our lives. Spiritual intimacy is something that lasts longer than a mere physical attraction. Even the wonderful enjoyment we experience when we, as one of my daughters put it, "celebrate our marriage" (referring to the physical act of marriage), will fade in intensity. However, spiritual intimacy will grow to a more steady experience in our lives as our faith in God grows.
Love lasts longer than the happiness that is produced by experiences. Likewise, spiritual intimacy will continue as we experience the ups and downs of life.
Achieving measures of spiritual intimacy, and continuing to achieve greater measures, as the marriage endures, is one of the greatest benefits of any Christian marriage.
(Copyright 2008 by Randy Carney, excerpted from a chapter in Dr. Carney's upcoming book, The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss.)
About the Author
Dr. Randy Carney has worked with married couples for more than 30 years. The difficulty of achieving intimacy seems to be a major hurdle that, if overcome, brings success in any marriage. Did you find these major steps to intimacy useful? For more articles like these, go to goarticles.com. You also can learn a lot more about how further secrets to marital bliss can help you here: Secrets of Marital Bliss.
Spiritual intimacy relates to the deep longing for God that each individual experiences. That person may not know what he is searching for, but he will often experiment with many things trying to fill "something" within his life. We all have a "God-shaped vacuum" within us. We try to fill that void with many things, but only God can satisfy that longing.
The Bible looks beyond the "self-assured" appearance of many people, and it challenges us with the statement that "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." Because of this situation, we have become separated from God because of the very nature of His holiness. This awareness affects our emotional intimacy as disappointment within ourselves begins to bring discouragement in our lives.
That is the wonderful thing about the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. The word, Gospel, simply means "good news"! The good news is that even though we have all sinned, God loved the world so much that He provided a way for us to regain fellowship with Him. When we respond to what He has provided for us, we begin to move toward that spiritual intimacy we so desperately desire.
We often wonder if God desires a relationship with human beings. We desire intimacy with God. does He desire intimacy with us? I mean, "Why would he want a relationship with creatures that so often are selfish and are so often rebellious against His authority?" We get some insight into this when we realize that we were created in the image of God. Then we (the human race) fell into sin. (Yes, our ancestors sinned, but if we are honest with ourselves, we recognize the fact that we also have sinned.)
How did we get into such a situation? Part of the answer is that when God created us in His image, He also created us in such a way that we could freely choose to love Him or reject Him. When we exercise that freedom to rebel against His right to rule our lives, we experience a separation from Him. Yet, He loved us enough to provide for our redemption. Accepting the Redeeming work of Christ by each partner in a marriage relationship is the first step toward the wonderful benefit of spiritual intimacy that can be found within a Christian marriage.
What hinders spiritual intimacy? Part of it has to do with our goals, values, and commitment. If our goals are selfish or outside of what God allows, of course our spiritual intimacy will be affected. If either the husband or wife becomes a workaholic, then the time that could be spent on achieving spiritual intimacy is moved to the side also.
Likewise, values that do not line up with the Word of God, will certainly get in the way of spiritual intimacy. When the couple gets its values from a society that does take the time to learn what God has to say about life, the cuople's own values will become corrupt. The way to move beyond this problem is to begin to study what the Bible has to say about life and let those biblical values sink in.
Our lack of commitment to the things of God will also hinder our spiritual intimacy. Trying to build a satisfying marriage without taking our spiritual needs into account will have little fruit; and that process certainly will not promote spiritual intimacy.
The Bible speaks of a husband "knowing" his wife. This has often been interpreted to mean that a married couple will be involved in sexual intercourse. This phrase does indeed refer to sexual intimacy within marriage, but it goes deeper than that.
When a husband "knows" his wife (and the same principles apply to a wife "knowing" her husband), he knows things about her. Especially before they marry, a man and woman learn all kinds of things abut each other because they are extremely interested in each other. Actually, though, in this phase, they know things about each other that others can observe also. The intimate "knowing" the Bible describes involves knowing things about your mate that no one else knows. You know their preferences, their pet peeves, and things like that. Others may be aware of some of those things, but you know them well. Beyond that, however, you also know some of your mate's secret dreams, desires and fears. When you are able to share on this honest level, and at the same time have a shared to commitment to please God, you begin to experience what the Bible is taking about when it speaks of "knowing" each other.
To share dreams and fears requires rigorous-honesty intimacy. To be able to share this deeply only comes after a period of time when trust has grown in the marriage.
Spiritual intimacy is a somewhat intangible quality; however, we can know that we desire something when we do not have it, and we can know that we like it when we do experience some measure of it. We recognize God's call for intimacy within our lives. Spiritual intimacy is something that lasts longer than a mere physical attraction. Even the wonderful enjoyment we experience when we, as one of my daughters put it, "celebrate our marriage" (referring to the physical act of marriage), will fade in intensity. However, spiritual intimacy will grow to a more steady experience in our lives as our faith in God grows.
Love lasts longer than the happiness that is produced by experiences. Likewise, spiritual intimacy will continue as we experience the ups and downs of life.
Achieving measures of spiritual intimacy, and continuing to achieve greater measures, as the marriage endures, is one of the greatest benefits of any Christian marriage.
(Copyright 2008 by Randy Carney, excerpted from a chapter in Dr. Carney's upcoming book, The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss.)
About the Author
Dr. Randy Carney has worked with married couples for more than 30 years. The difficulty of achieving intimacy seems to be a major hurdle that, if overcome, brings success in any marriage. Did you find these major steps to intimacy useful? For more articles like these, go to goarticles.com. You also can learn a lot more about how further secrets to marital bliss can help you here: Secrets of Marital Bliss.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Cleaving and Tenacity by Dr. Randy Carney
"Be tenacious!" I yelled to my daughter in the middle of a volleyball game. She was in high school at the time. Tenacity was a concept with which the team was familiar, but the words, "tenacity, tenaciousness, and tenacious" were not words we used very often. It became a standing joke that at some time, during any game, I would yell out, "Be tenacious."
Being tenacious implies that one will "hold firmly." As related to cleaving, it relates to the idea of "sticking or holding together like an adhesive."
Couples who cleave to each other will be very difficult to pry apart. Their love motivates them to stick together. The intimacy that develops over a period of time promotes a natural adhesion to each other. Since intimacy feels so good, it promotes an increased level of commitment. Couples who cleave to each other do so with tenacity.
As you look with the eyes of imagination upon your own marriage, you could view it as a great contest between the success of your marriage and the forces that would tear it apart. As you are the imaginary onlooker, cry out--not with your mouth, but in the depths of your soul--"Be tenacious!"
Marriage is fun, but it requires toughness. That is where the tenacity comes in. Every marriage will have hard places. Some of those places may not be of the couple's making. Some of them, however, will come about because of the process of having to adjust to living with another person.
Diverse individuals try to live together in marriage. We have to learn the art of "good compromise." We also have to learn balanced compromise where both couples move away from their preconceived positions, as opposed to just one person always making a change. When the going gets tough, (in the case of marriage) the tough stay together.
Couples who cleave to each other can endure almost any trial. First of all, they approach new situations, disappointments, and changes with confidence. They may not know how things are going to turn out, but one thing they are sure of is that, no matter what happens, they will face the trial together.
This confidence develops because of their known commitment to each other. When they see that their partner has supported them in the past, they will not be as fearful when new situations arise.
Another reason why couples who cleave to each are able to do so tenaciously is because of the support they receive from each other. We are told that "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor." A couple that supports each other can be tenacious when difficult times come.
Cleaving requires tenacity.
As an imaginary spectator looking at your own marriage, cry out to yourself from the very depth of your soul, "Be tenacious!"
(Copyright 2008 by Randy Carney.) This article is an adaptation of a short excerpt from a chapter in Dr. Carney's forthcoming book: The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss.
About the Author
Dr. Randy Carney has worked with married couples for more than 30 years. The difficulty of achieving intimacy seems to be a major hurdle that, if overcome, brings success in any marriage. Did you find these major steps to intimacy useful? For more articles like these, go to http://randysarticles.blogspot.com/. You also can learn a lot more about how further secrets to marital bliss can help you here: Secrets of Marital Bliss.
Being tenacious implies that one will "hold firmly." As related to cleaving, it relates to the idea of "sticking or holding together like an adhesive."
Couples who cleave to each other will be very difficult to pry apart. Their love motivates them to stick together. The intimacy that develops over a period of time promotes a natural adhesion to each other. Since intimacy feels so good, it promotes an increased level of commitment. Couples who cleave to each other do so with tenacity.
As you look with the eyes of imagination upon your own marriage, you could view it as a great contest between the success of your marriage and the forces that would tear it apart. As you are the imaginary onlooker, cry out--not with your mouth, but in the depths of your soul--"Be tenacious!"
Marriage is fun, but it requires toughness. That is where the tenacity comes in. Every marriage will have hard places. Some of those places may not be of the couple's making. Some of them, however, will come about because of the process of having to adjust to living with another person.
Diverse individuals try to live together in marriage. We have to learn the art of "good compromise." We also have to learn balanced compromise where both couples move away from their preconceived positions, as opposed to just one person always making a change. When the going gets tough, (in the case of marriage) the tough stay together.
Couples who cleave to each other can endure almost any trial. First of all, they approach new situations, disappointments, and changes with confidence. They may not know how things are going to turn out, but one thing they are sure of is that, no matter what happens, they will face the trial together.
This confidence develops because of their known commitment to each other. When they see that their partner has supported them in the past, they will not be as fearful when new situations arise.
Another reason why couples who cleave to each are able to do so tenaciously is because of the support they receive from each other. We are told that "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor." A couple that supports each other can be tenacious when difficult times come.
Cleaving requires tenacity.
As an imaginary spectator looking at your own marriage, cry out to yourself from the very depth of your soul, "Be tenacious!"
(Copyright 2008 by Randy Carney.) This article is an adaptation of a short excerpt from a chapter in Dr. Carney's forthcoming book: The LOVING Way to a Successful Marriage: Six Keys to Marital Bliss.
About the Author
Dr. Randy Carney has worked with married couples for more than 30 years. The difficulty of achieving intimacy seems to be a major hurdle that, if overcome, brings success in any marriage. Did you find these major steps to intimacy useful? For more articles like these, go to http://randysarticles.blogspot.com/. You also can learn a lot more about how further secrets to marital bliss can help you here: Secrets of Marital Bliss.
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